A legitimate excuse

I have had the time. And the energy. And everything else. But I just can't write this blog about the fire. It's all still pretty painful. It hits me like a wave every day. No one died or was even injured (except for the neighbor's cat, which I'm sorry for of course), but I still feel an empty hole inside. I'm still in mourning. Sometimes I contemplate what I'd really want back the very most--the journals usually win out, but also the wedding photos. Sometimes the family videos win. We had a bunch of furniture there and other things that were more monetarily valuable, but of course those journals and photos are the truly irreplaceable things. It's a stupid game to play with myself though because it just reminds me of what was lost.

For those who didn't hear, the brief synopsis is that we got a phone call while we were at SeaWorld that Jonah's family's cabin, where we have had all of our very most precious things stored for the last two years, burned to the ground. It wasn't much, but it was everything we felt like was too valuable to make the three moves we've made in the last few years. It was the stuff that was so precious that we didn't want to risk taking it from place to place, from dryness to humidity to hot to cold, sitting in a moving trailer for weeks or months on end.  In the end, we didn't pick the safest place. 

It's still very hard to talk about it. I also have been dealing with some anxiety because of it. I've been especially worried about leaving tomorrow for a week without my family. Whew. Nearly knocking me down.

And yet I'm so grateful to have my most importants with me every day and that we weren't at the cabin when it happened, because who knows what would have happened.

So, I haven't blogged. And the blogguilt has been piling up. I think when I get back I'll just skip forward to the rest of the summer and come back to the fire in a couple months. 

On a lighter note, we had the most wonderful time out on the ocean today while the three older kids were at school. We saw six spotted eagle rays and loads of turtles and of course fish. It was fantastic. Po was on the paddle board with me so she got to see the turtles too. What a spoiled little girl.

Maui is the best.