Homeschooling

This is a post I’ve been meaning to write for awhile… I’ve wanted to record about I feel about it this early in the game, and it’s something I get asked about a LOT—almost daily it seems. so I’ll do my best to be thorough yet brief (that will be a small miracle, because I am never brief…). I’m going to divide it up into a few posts. Today I’ll talk about some pros and cons. In a day or two, I’ll talk about some tools and curriculum we use. And after that, I’ll give some ideas for people who want to homeschool but haven’t done it yet. SORRY there aren’t any photos today… Po has TMS (like PMS, but Teeth are Major Sore… three teeth coming in) and I can’t spend too much time here on the computer.

 

So yes. We homeschool. Only our two older kids are school-aged, so they are the only two I am going to talk about in this post. Ana would be in 5th grade this year and Cam would be in 2nd. Elsie will be in kindergarten next year (!!).

We just started fully homeschooling this year. My kids have mostly been in public schools until then. Ana went to a Spanish immersion elementary school for K-2nd and then had a brief homeschooling experience for six months when we lived in New Zealand (she’s not a NZ citizen, so she couldn’t go to school there). Cam went to New Zealand public school for that half year before he went to public school in the USA for kindergarten and first grade.

Last winter we started investigating homeschool options, and I found a great state program that provides me a stipend to buy curriculum and pay for private lessons and activities. We also have a certified teacher who guides us and checks in on us, which I really appreciate. So, we felt supported enough to take the leap.

Here are some of the main reasons why we wanted to homeschool:

1. I didn’t want our travel or adventures to be constricted by the school schedule.

Since neither Jonah or I have conventional jobs, we were basically planning our life daily around when the kids left for and arrived home from school. We also had to plan family trips, hikes in the mountains, going to the lake, etc. around when the kids were on holiday—which is when everyone else travels too. This probably doesn’t seem like a big deal, but when you rearrange your lifestyle to live more simply and give up a more luxurious life you might have through working a 40-hour+ a week job and then you send your kids off daily to do the same grind you abandoned, it just doesn’t match up.

2. School isn’t perfect for everyone.

I LOVED school. I went to public school all 13 years and I think I loved every single minute of it. Part of this is surely because I was in a great school district with nationally recognized teachers and brand new schools, but I think I also just loved it. I loved my friends, I loved learning, I loved my teachers (about 95% of them), I loved the regimen, the  competition, the expectations. It was heaven for me. I also aced the system, which always feels good. Then I married Jonah who did not like school. Not one bit. In fact, he had some fairly traumatic experiences with some bad teachers that shut down his  scholarly motivation for years. Jonah also loves to buck the trends and hates competition. I respect his history and have tried to be open minded about schooling from his perspective.

We didn’t really think about homeschooling at first because when Ana turned five, she and I were both ready for a break from each other.  She went to school and loved it. She also did really well. Same for Cam. In fact, Cam does extremely well in school both academically and socially. My kids LOVE school

But, after a few years, we felt that Ana just wasn’t blooming like we knew she could. She was coming home from school every day exhausted and belligerent. She was much more enjoyable during holidays when she was able to detox from the regimen. She would regularly point out to us that they were only spending 1-2 hours a day in class learning stuff, and the rest of the time was spent disciplining other kids, cleaning up, reviewing old material, and moving from class to lunch, lunch to recess, recess to class, class to library, desk to rug, rug to desk…. she said so poignantly that she felt, “like her youth was wasting away in the classroom”.

3. From a mom’s perspective, I felt like I was sending my kids’ best selves to school and getting the leftovers at home.

Most kids are SO awake, aware and ready to learn from about 8am-12noon. And that’s when they are at school. That’s great for academics, but what about the real joys of life? Wouldn’t I rather have her reading a great piece of literature during that time than doing math worksheets reviewing something she learned in 2nd grade?

4. I didn’t like the homework.

The other problem I had with Ana’s schooling was homework—she didn’t have a ton, maybe 45 minutes a night, but it was always tedious. It was always worksheets or busywork. I don’t bemoan homework as a rule, but why not have something that we can work on together, or is at least has some sort of real world application. How about a book report? Science project? A research report on chimpanzees? Preparing a class speech? A math project on the cost of making the family dinner? Nope. Most schools have to teach for state tests to keep their funding, so they’ve got to stick to the basics. I totally understand. I totally understand too that kids need to both practice and reinforce the things they learned at school and be able to show their parents what they are learning at school so they can get help if needed. But this sort of homework is rarely enjoyable or memorable or even helpful for anyone. I know that some schools are good at not having homework, or only giving quality homework, but we didn’t go to those schools.

5. I wanted my kids to have time to learn about things they were interested in.

I wanted them to have time to pursue their interests. I wanted them to be able to do crazy stuff, like start a business or build a robot or learn to surf. With the school schedule, plus play time with friends, plus some sort of exercise (which was not provided at school), we barely had time to eat dinner together and read a book before bed. Somehow I remember spending hours by myself reading ZooBooks or encyclopedias, or wandering the neighborhood, or rollerblading everywhere, or playing with a dozen different friends… and sometimes all that on the same day. My kids were saying to me that there wasn’t enough time in the day to do what they wanted to do. That’s something moms say, not kids.

6. Homeschooling has become pretty cool in the last few years.

There are great non-secular curriculums out there that do all the hard work for you. There are also some really cool families homeschool that have been great mentors for me.

7. I wanted my kids to work at their own speed.

When my kids did well in school, they were held back so they didn’t get too ahead or give their teacher more work. The best thing about homeschool too me is that you get to move at every student’s best speed. 

 

Reasons we didn’t want to homeschool:

1. I loved school. My kids loved school.

I didn’t want them to miss out on the memories I had acquired, forever friends I had made, experiences I worked through. I wanted them to experience all the different cultures and personalities you experience at school. Who’s to say that the memories and cultures they are experiencing at home and abroad with their family aren’t richer? I don’t know. I’ll get back to you on that. It’s different than how I was raised, so it’s scary nonetheless.

2. I didn’t want all my kids’ mentoring and teaching to come from the two same adults their whole life.

I love that there are other adults who teach and mentor and love my kids at school (and church). I didn’t want to deprive them of that. Hopefully I will be able to provide opportunities for them to work with and learn from other adults.

3. I worried about not teaching them everything they need to know and learn.

This is something I’ve gotten over though—thanks to some other long-time homeschoolers and just my own research, kids don’t HAVE to learn certain things by certain ages or all is lost. In fact, a lot of things schools are “teaching” can be just magically learned over time. Spelling, for example, gets better and better without spelling practice if kids are reading good books and writing for enjoyment. A rich learning environment is much more fertile for young minds than drills and skills practice. Does this mean I ignore state standards and requirements for my kids’ ages? No. But I don’t worry about much because so many of those skills come naturally as my kids become more well read and better critical thinkers.

4. I worried my kids would drive me crazy.

But guess what… we actually all get a long much better now that they are home all the time! Instead of frantically sending clean, fresh kids out the door every morning and getting tired, bored kids at the end of the day, I get fresh and excited kids all day long! Plus, without the pressures of juggling the social difficulties of being a preteen girl, Ana is SO much more polite, secure, and content. They aren’t as needy for attention either, which was a big way they managed to drive me crazy.

5. I worried that Cam would be bored.

He is so easy going that he often borders on unmotivated. These first few months of homeschool have been hard, but he’s finally into a routine and his reading skills have progressed so much that he devours his books with great excitement. He misses school much more than Ana does, so we may send him to school for third grade. We’ll see. We’re leaving the decision up to him. But, in the meantime, we are going to really pursue his talent in math because he was fairly bored with math when he was in school. We may be setting him up to be ultra-bored next year, but we’ll burn that bridge when we come to it. (See point #7 in the previous section).

6. I worried that I would be a lousy homeschooling mom.

This one is somewhat true. Luckily Jonah is home most days and makes up for a lot of my shortcomings. I have a friend who doesn’t homeschool but is a perfect “learning rich environment” mom. She always takes her kids’ interests and questions and helps them run with them. She is so involved with everything they do. Her kids are awesome. I’m sure they have meaningful conversations in the car too. She loves spending time with them all the time. She is awesome and I’m trying to be more like her. I’m much more: “Go get your math done.” I’m hoping to improve on all accounts in this area.

7. I didn’t want to lose all my free time during the day when the kids are at school.

And sadly, I don’t know if there is any way around this. Plus I spend a lot more time cleaning up, even though I have extra helpers here all day. But, on the other hand, I never go shopping for things I don’t need. I don’t waste [too much] time on the internet. When we go places, it usually involves something fun and outdoors. I also have a babysitter here during the day in case we need to be sans children for a couple hours. But naps, wandering around Costco, and other worthy pursuits? Out of the question.

8. I worried my kids would be un-socialized and weird.

Since I think this is more a product of the family culture than if they go to school or not, my kids’ weirdness level probably won’t change much. Are homeschooled kids weird or are the homeschooled because they are weird? Chicken and the egg.

9. I worried I wouldn’t be able to find good homeschooling groups for activities and support.

Unfortunately, I left a really really great group in Sequim to come here to Maui and I haven’t found a group that we really fit in with yet, but I’m working on it. A lot of homeschool groups are very Christian based. This is fine, but I don’t teach my kids from secular curriculum; also, Mormons are often unwelcome in Christian homeschooling groups. Some of the homeschool groups I’ve been to spend a lot of time together bashing public schools and the government. I am not anti-government, anti-taxes, anti-school, anti-liberal, or really anti-anything. I don’t mind some good discussion, but I don’t enjoy just sitting around and bashing. All-in-all, I think it’s just a matter of finding a good group, which I’m sure will happen soon.

 

So, now the kids are done with their homeschool for the day and we are out on adventure. More tomorrow! Let me know if you have any comments or questions you would like me to address.